Tuesday, August 15, 2017

My Own Youtube Channel!

In an attempt to expand further on my sphere of influence as well as taking advantage of another medium to entertain, I've started my own humble Youtube channel, doing lets plays and other very dirt simple videos. I'm still figuring out how to work the audio levels, and haven't actually done any cutting or anything remotely complex in editing, but it is my hope that I will steadily get better and provide some fun for you guys! So if you're interested please take a look and leave comments if you're so inclined. Thanks all!


Also, I sincerely apologize for my recent lack of activity. Things have been... interesting, as of late, and I'm trying to compensate. Aside from that I'm spread across multiple projects from blogging, DA writing, world building for my next book, practicing wood burning, helping out with a major local event and now practicing video making.
So again, I apologize for those of you looking forward for more writing content here. Hopefully I'll have something new up soon!

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Primal Frontier: The Kapar's Mark

At long last I finally present my latest book and first full sized novel! I introduce to you The Kapar's Mark!
Primal Frontier: The Kapar's Mark by [Confer, Austen]

Here is the synopsis:

"No problem vexes the adventurer and hunter more than the lack of a challenge. Ansgar Tapio, the dinosaur hunter eternally smitten with wanderlust, is plagued by the thought that there are no challenges left. Until he hears of an island that no white man has penetrated. Whispered to be the home of fearsome beasts, his blood thrills at the thought of meeting what is reputed to be the greatest of them all, the kapar! Rumored to be a terrestrial crocodile deadly beyond all others, that even the local hunters regard with superstitious terror, Ansgar sets out to find this beast and test himself against it.

And thus he sets out on a grand journey with a motley crew upon a steamboat to reach the fabled island Indannas and penetrate the steaming jungles, braving hosts of venomous creatures, carnivorous fish, hostile tribes and other innumerable perils to hunt what may be his greatest challenge yet! The infamous kapar, the terror of Indannas. And yet, is it something more?

Follow our heroes on an epic journey across ocean, jungle and mountain as they enter a world scarcely imagined by civilized men as they brave countless perils for the thrill of adventure as few men ever dream!"

If that doesn't sound like fun, I don't know what does. In addition all my previous works are up for free for a limited time in celebration of this release. So if you've been interested in my other works but didn't want to pay, well, here's your chance!

I would like to take this moment to thank everyone who has supported my work. It's because of people like you that I write. Entertaining others and spreading joy is my purpose in life. 
I hope to continue doing so with even more stories soon.

In the meantime, happy reading and happy hunting!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Beauty in Simplicity

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This one idea conveys so much. It can be applied to so much in life that it boggles my mind. So much of life today focuses on perfection, finding beauty in that which has no flaw. But this Japanese concept is infinitely more poignant. Beauty in imperfection or repair is such a wonderful concept.

It applies not only to art or objects, but also to people. It is those who have been broken and are fixed who are some of the best in the world. When you see someone making mistakes, don't shun them. Try to help them like this bowl.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The Life and Adventures of James P. Beckwourth

The Life and Adventures of James P. Beckwourth : Mountaineer, Scout, and Pioneer and Chief of the Crow Nation of Indians (1856) by [Bonner, T. D.]

The average mountain man was a cut above most normal men. Tough, rugged, resourceful and burning with a passion for the wilderness, these gents forever cemented themselves as a presence in the American West. While quite a few died in their quest for furs, either through bad-tempered grizzlies, freezing to death, or falling victim to the scalper's knife, it's more amazing at how many survived. And Jim Beckwourth was one of the best.

A mulatto and former slave, Jim set out at an early age with other trappers in the Ashley Company to penetrate the Rockies and secure the beaver pelts that the East so desperately craved. This remarkable man went from being just one of many green trappers to becoming a leading chief of the Crow nation and being accepted into their fold like few other men ever could.

Within this tome he describes a massive volume of his life and his adventures. These are his words, albeit somewhat edited. Even so one quickly gets a great idea of what sort sort of man Mr. Beckwourth was. One gets the impression that in spite of his many achievements and grand adventures, he is soft spoken and is more apt to lay things in a casual manner, yet one doesn't find himself bored at all. On the contrary! His insights into the mindset of the Crows is simply invaluable. He knew them as precious few other men could ever hope to. If you wish to learn deeply of this tribe, then this is essential reading.

I have heard that some of his accounts are inaccurate, so one may wish to take some of his words with a grain of salt. It is always wise to cross reference sources. Speaking personally, I get the impression of absolute honesty, a man simply relaying his accounts as best as his memory can serve him. So while individual details may be incorrect due to the effects of time on memory, I believe that as a whole his accounts are accurate.

Beckwourth was believed by the Crows to in fact be one of their own, kidnapped by the whites as a child and raised as they were raised. And wouldn't you know it? His "mother" found a mole above his eye, which she said belonged to her own son who had disappeared so many years before. Lo and behold, their long lost member had finally returned! And as a great warrior no less! The love these people bestowed upon him is enough to wrench most hearts from their breasts, and it becomes quite clear that Beckwourth himself cared deeply for them. He married many of their women, even when trying to court a lass back in the East, and for the most part handled himself as a wonderful adventurer. Even as his personal wealth in pelts grew, one gets the feeling that he had little desire to return to the life of the East. He could just collect a few more pelts and move back whenever he felt like it. Whenever that might be.

All said, this is a huge but fantastic book. I myself have not yet finished it, even after a few months of flicking through the pages, but I feel that it is well worth the read. Please take a look and see back into the days of the mountain man!


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Geronimo's Story of His Life

Geronimo's Story of His Life by [Geronimo]

Anyone with even a passing familiarity with the West has heard the name Geronimo. One of the greatest warriors of the notorious Apaches of Arizona, Geronimo commanded respect for his daring, resourcefulness and raw courage that stymied two armies for decades.

So when I came across this gem I felt my heart leap with anticipation. Plenty of books have been written by military men who fought Apaches and others, but a book written by one of the warriors himself? And one of their best leaders no less? This my friends is an absolute treasure.

In this book Geronimo covers many portions of his life, from when he was young, to some of his later battles, and during his many years as a prisoner of war. Many aspects of Apache life are covered, from weddings, domestic life, to warfare and religion. I find it surprising however that Geronimo covers conspicuously little of his fights against American soldiers. He defers far more often to fighting against Mexicans. And he seems to cover his failures more often than his successes. I suspect these may be due to a combination of humility, and perhaps the military editors not being terribly keen on him describing how he gave them the slip for so long. However I have no evidence to support either suspicion, and I could be dreadfully wrong on both. He was a man of strong will, and if he didn't have a mind to discuss something, he simply wouldn't do so.

However, upon reading this entire thing, one truly gets the feeling that they knew not just the warrior, but the man as a human being. One feels his pain and loss, his frustration and anxiety, but also his stoic resolve in the face of difficult circumstances and even love for some of the better things he found later in life. One of my favorite chapters is actually when he visited the fair, meeting people from many other countries and watching performers. Of all his words in the book, it is his last ones that perhaps strike me the strongest: "I wish all of my people could have attended the Fair."

It's in these last chapters that one feels his sorrow and sadness, having born so many burdens, and yet one can feel a touch of happiness and reserved hope for the future. In these words over a century old one can still sense the resolute strength and power that guided one of history's greatest warriors. One almost feels as though they are listening to him speak around the campfire, recalling pleasant and poor memory alike. I find this beyond fascinating, and it is an absolute gem of literature.

I highly encourage anyone and everyone to read this book! I loved every page, and I hope that others can get the same pleasure from it that I did.


Monday, May 29, 2017

Books on the brain

I've been really slow on here lately, what with things being all sorts of chaotic on my end and struggling to maintain my hold on what sanity I have left, but I think I have enough room now to come back and actually make myself somewhat useful. How? Well, I've been hoarding books lately like a miser, and through these many metaphorically dusty tomes I've uncovered absolute treasures of knowledge. So! I'll be recommending and discussing some of these, hopefully starting tomorrow. Some I've read cover to cover, others I'm still getting through. It's hard to be really thorough, just because I have so many to get through, and some of these memoirs are really hefty, but I'll do the best I can. Usually I can get an idea of how good a piece is within the first few thousand pages.

I'll mostly be looking at books written by people who were actually at various time periods or locations. I love meticulously researched books, but first hand accounts are simply invaluable, and thankfully there are many of these floating around for just a few dollars, or even free. So if you want a really good perspective of certain eras, stay tuned!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Kapar's Mark release date!

Yes yes yes! The newest installment of the Primal Frontier series is primed and ready to go! This bad boy is far larger than my earlier works. It's a hair over 100k words long, 30 chapters, and will probably amount to 350 pages once it's released on the Kindle. Phew! This is my first full sized novel, and I hope it will feel as epic as I tried to make it.

This time Ansgar has gotten wind of a creature unlike any other he has ever seen before on a far off island that no white man has yet explored. It's full of dangerous wildlife, disease, hostile tribes, impassable jungle and more. Just the sort of place his wild spirit yearns to go. He must find a ship willing to take him on his crazy errand, brave the interior of the island Indannas and all its perils, to find the legendary beast known as the kapar. Whispered by the local tribes to be demons in physical form, they rarely if ever risk their wrath. But is there more to this beast than simply being dangerous? We shall see!

The book will be released on July 8th, Saturday, for five dollars. Yes, that's a wee bit pricier than my earlier works, but this one is huge. I think it's a fair trade. Also! On the release day I will have ALL of my earlier works put up for FREE for a whole week! So if you've been interested in any of the others or want to share them with friends or family, now is your chance to take full advantage of them. My treat.

So mark your calendars and get the hype train going!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Writing Update

I apologize for the recent lack of activity. Life has gotten ramped up and more challenging. I am glad to announce however that I'm very close to releasing my next book! I'm about 80% of the way through editing. With luck I'll have it finished by the end of the month and have it released by next month.

Sorry for not giving more details, but I have to get back to editing. Wish me luck ladies and gentlemen! This is going to be a big one!

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Samurai Jack Is Back!

Not many kids cartoons, or even adult shows, can compare to the amazing Cartoon Network original Samurai Jack. Almost unrivaled in imagination and creativity, it has stood proudly among cartoons as one of the most lasting and beloved series out there. It had humor, drama, horror, spectacular action and some serious heavyweight characters. Jack himself is a quintessential pulp character, a jack of all trades adventurer traveling the span and scope of a bizarre world to return to the past. His arch nemesis, Aku, voiced by the legendary Mako, stands as one of the coolest villains ever. With his hacksaw laugh, flaming eyebrows and surprisingly wide array of emotions and abilities, he is a worthy adversary and a hugely fun baddie. He runs the gamut from being a terrifying villain unleashing horrible destruction upon the realm of mortals to being a petty trickster, content to simply taunt and humiliate. He is scary and funny all at the same time.

The scope of the world here is some of the most diverse I have ever seen in any form of fiction. The artists and creators seemingly were given a carte blanche and told to go wild on whatever they wanted. Working on this setting must have been a creator's wet dream. There are seemingly no limits. There is magic, demonic entities, cyborgs, scifi, steampunk, western elements, aliens, robots, monsters, and everything in between. It has more diversity and imagination than a miniature golf course and much more action. While simplistic the art style is very vivid and distinct. It can't be mistaken for anything else. In fact, it was so good that the makers were drafted by Lucas for some of the Clone Wars cartoons, and it shows.

Sadly, even that couldn't save it from cancellation after four seasons. It was never truly finished. Until now. From the grave Samurai Jack has been resurrected, giving us a chance at finishing the epic that was started so long ago. We are now granted a steady stream of episodes, and we may finally see the climax of the running saga.

Sadly the original voice actor of Aku has passed, and it will be difficult to find a truly worthy replacement. It also seems to be taking a more consistent dark tone, as Jack is now haunted by visions of his family and homeland. It's been fifty years and yet age does not tell on his body. His mind however seems to be bending under the weight of constant fighting and failure. And a dazzling array of new enemies are now set before him, most notably The Daughters of Aku, a cultish sect of women dedicated to the evil shapeshifter.

Will the story at last be brought to a close? Will it match its earlier works? I don't know but I'm ecstatic to find out! Check the link below to see the first episode!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Kong: Skull Island

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It's no secret that I'm a fan of King Kong. I watched the original 33 movie dozens of times as a kid and fell absolutely in love with it. It explains a lot about how I turned out. So one may have guessed my reaction upon seeing the trailer for the newest movie, and last Friday I hied myself down to the local cinema and gave it a watch.

First off, this is sort of in strange territory in terms of category. It's obviously not a remake. But it's also definitely not a sequel or a soft reboot. It is purely doing its own thing. In fact, it doesn't even reference the original or the Jackson incarnation! I admit, in this day and age where movie makers are terrified of originality and use their ancestry as a form of merit more often than Tolkien characters, this was rather shocking. Maybe they snuck a reference in there, but if they did I didn't see it. This is far from a bad thing however. For once, a movie actually feels rather fresh and not like it's masquerading as an old friend.

Also refreshing is that this one isn't taking place in modern times. Honestly, it irks me when movies forget that they can exist in other time periods. References to modern stuff rubs me the wrong way. This movie is sandwiched nicely between the old 30's and modern times, just at the early 70's. Techy enough to have some fun gear but retro enough to give it a fresh feeling.

With that out of the way, onto the actual meat of the movie. Within the first five minutes this movie lets you know that realism is not a priority. An American pilot and Japanese pilot fall onto Skull Island in World War 2, fail to shoot each other and get into a melee. The American pilot catches a katana thrust at his stomach with his bare hands and doesn't lose a single finger. First off, ouch. Second off, not happening. I guess this Japanese pilot had a training model and never sharpened it. That should really prep you for what kind of movie you're in for.

Fast forward about twenty years and we're just where the Vietnam War ends and John Goodman is playing... I forget his name honestly. Sorry. But he somehow swindles a senator into giving them the green light to investigate this island. Okay, second thing about this movie. The writing and characters are not the strong points. This is NOT a smart movie. Honestly, I started getting scared pretty early on, because I thought I was in for a crapfest where they had one writer paid in Cheetos and would focus everything on the action. But in hindsight it's more like they realized that it was pointless trying to make this a smart movie, and just want to get you to the island as soon as possible and get the fun going. If so... well, they almost made the right choice, because once they do get there it actually gets ridiculously fun. Honesty, I've spent more time on the first act then the movie did. This is NOT the Jackson movie, where it takes an hour to get to the effing island. I suppose the makers, who also did the most recent Godzilla movie, were paying attention to what people said about those two and tried to correct their mistakes, but ended up over-correcting, so we end up with almost no build up or character and tons of action.

Sorry if I'm not giving much detail on the first act, but honestly there is very little to tell. I think we get to the island within 25 minutes. The scenes race by fast! They rush us into the second act like our lives depend on it. And once we do get to the island, we see Kong within five minutes and you see half of the clips from the trailer. Kong rocks in and begins smashing Hueys out of the air like they're staying still. And that's... awesome actually. Far fetched, but awesome. Honestly, this movie is wonderfully cinematic. It makes brilliant use of motion, shots, framing slow motion and all that jazz. It has rapid bursts of violence punctuated by a few seconds of slow tension with a gorgeous visual to really let things sink in. I wish all action movies showed this level of clarity with their fighting. You're never confused about what's going on, unlike a Bay movie. I thought that this first action scene was a huge mistake. I thought that they showed their hand early and wouldn't be able to top it. I'm glad to say I was wrong.

Kong looks frigging fantastic. They've gone from the giant silverback gorilla look in the Jackson movie to a more erect and solid Sasquatch appearance. Honestly, it works. It's still Kong, but another incarnation. Yet I was still blown away by how expressive his face was. He still looks like a real animal, showing a range of primitive yet palpable emotions. His surly frowning and raging roars will chill you in your seat, yet he sometimes gives way to looks of eerie calm and even pained concern. The movie makes a lot more sense if you treat Kong as the main character. Also, he is a frigging ninja in this flick. He pops up everywhere unnoticed and without making a sound. But like his cinematic rival, Godzilla, he has a presence that is impossible to ignore and when he shows up on screen you are basking in his epic glory.

As for the human characters... I'm sorry. For the life of me I can't remember the names of any. Not the soldiers, not the scientists, not anyone. Yet almost all of them have an identity that I remember. Weird, right? I think the script was a fail because they put in every character's name a grand total of three times, which isn't enough for me to memorize them. It's strange, because the characters are actually kind of memorable, albeit not amazing. Loki for example doesn't feel bad, but he does feel like he wasn't used to his full potential, which is a shame. The same goes for Jackson's character. I feel like he could have been utilized far better. Oddly enough, the best character is the one I was afraid of the most. You know the curly haired guy from Talladega Nights and all those other awful Will Farrell comedies? He is the American pilot from the intro, still alive on the island. I guess my perception was stained from other performances, because I groaned when I saw him. Honestly though he works. Being stranded for so long he feels a bit kookie, but still sane. Comedic but sympathetic. He even managed to pull off holding a katana and whispering "Death before dishonor" in Japanese. Man, I wouldn't have believed that last one, but he sold me on it. He is used for comedic relief, but he actually does have a lot of sympathy going for him. So yay on that.

As for plot, it's your run of the mill stranded on a dangerous island and have to escape story. I was actually reminded of Jurassic Park 3 in how it felt very contrived to get them stranded so quickly. A lot of things feel contrived in this movie, but not to the point that it made me angry. More like lightly annoyed. And in fairness, once they are stranded, the movie is pretty fun. I just had trouble buying that all of these helicopters, at least ten, got knocked down by Kong inside of five minutes. Good grief.

All that stuff being said, I absolutely love when we get to see the local tribe from the trailer. We meet our WW2 friend with them and we thankfully avoid more cultural conflict, and actually get a deep and fascinating look into their society. The scene is almost pure exposition, but I actually ate it up. I guess because I'm a sucker for lost civilizations and stuff. But wow I loved it. We see their beliefs and mythology, the history of the island, and while it doesn't line up with the prior movies, it still feels very believable and unique. Everything from their look and feel is excellent and I sincerely enjoyed their scenes.

Also worthy of note is John Goodman's sidekick, a young African American scientist who jumps on for the ride. Spoiler alert, and to the shock of everyone, he doesn't die. But more importantly, he's one of the more interesting guys and has some of the most fascinating stuff to say in the entire movie. What does he talk about? Hollow Earth Theory. He elaborates on his theory regarding the planet being hollow or having isolated pockets within the Earth's crust which contain isolated ecosystems. Turns out Skull Island is one of these! They don't show it, but they discover through seismic tests that the entire island is hollow with an entire ecosystem underneath. Now, being a lover of Journey to the Center of The Earth and At the Earth's Core, I absolutely devoured this stuff and was delighted that they took the time and effort to put it in. This actually sets itself up very well for a sequel in which we can see what else is going on beneath the already terrifying surface of Skull Island. I guess this also made me really like this character, since he was one of the few who sounded perfectly rational and aware of the absurdity of their situation. Also of credit to him is that they didn't make him a complete pansy. When they get stranded he's shouldering a pump action shotgun. It's a very small detail, but it made me enjoy the cast a lot more in that they weren't all helpless and dependent solely on Loki for protection, even if they weren't proficient. By the by, he's flanked by a young Asian scientist, and while I never learned her name either, I will grant that she gave me enough through her performance to hope that she too made it out alive.

Speaking of firearms, I'm delighted to say that all the weapons in the movie are period accurate and used with more reason and restraint than Hollywood usually exhibits. Again, small detail, but I appreciated it.

As for the island itself, we are greeted with a delightful variety of horrible creepy crawlies that try to kill our characters in a wide number of equally hideous ways. Kong fights some of them, the characters others, and each of these fights are good. Remember the giant spider in the trailer? The characters actually use smarts to kill it, rather than just screaming and shooting. It was sufficiently horrifying that I was actually really tense during that scene. These are really the meat of the movie. As a pleasant change of pace, not every critter on Skull Island is programmed to kill humans on sight. We actually see a few more mundane animals like axis dear. Or in a scene I really appreciated, a giant bovine the size of an elephant and a horn boss that would have required a warehouse to have a wall big enough to hang from lurches up out of the swamp, but it doesn't attack the characters. There is a period of tension as it rises from this pool and confronts them, and several of them are terrified and on the verge of opening fire, but Loki recognizes the body language and gets them to calm down, resulting in the giant buff going on its merry way. I appreciated this, as it gave Loki more bush cred and showed that not all of these animals were mindless monsters.

And, to my surprise, we get another turn of events that gave us much more of a plot besides simply escaping. Remember that underground bubble I mentioned? Well the things living in there have woken up, and now they are coming up to say hi. These reptilian horrors are frigging awesome. It's revealed that Kong is the only thing standing between these scaly critters and overrunning the island with their terror, and thus he is needed to preserve the balance of nature. I was not expecting this! This actually makes Kong a lot more like Godzilla now. He is a terrifying and destructive force of nature that threatens human lives with his mere presence, but he is also a primal guardian that protects us from other far greater threats. This gives him a very heroic edge even as he presents a threat to the protagonists.

Also, thank Odin, there is no stupid tacked on love story. Just brothers in arms trying to save one another.

The overall action of this movie is truly a spectacle, and time after time I was amazed at the ingenuity shown to make each fight unique and engaging. In fact, the final fight between Kong and the king of these reptile monsters has a finishing move is so brutal and grotesque that my jaw dropped. It was worthy of Mortal Combat. Truly, the fights are the meat of this movie.

Without going over every single detail, I'd say Kong: Skull Island is a very fun popcorn movie that is fully worth the experience of seeing in theaters. It isn't a thinking movie or character driven. It is however an adventure that will spoil you with the intensity of its action and suck you into a world that feels like you can enter. For that I think it's worth watching. I wish they had a better setup for the plot and more fleshed out characters, and they do stand out to me, but it's hard for me to notice them when I think of the bloody action. It had all the fights we didn't get in Godzilla.

It doesn't cower and lurk in the shadow of its predecessors. It stands proudly and unapologetically as it's own thing. It isn't afraid to be different and thus lacks the edge of fear that other movies do. While definitely flawed and won't win any awards, it has a glorious fun time with its epic shots and pulse pounding action.

Also, I think this is building up for a Kong vs Godzilla movie. They directly mention Operation Monarch from the last Godzilla movie and the attempts to nuke him. It's also mentioned that Kong keeps growing and won't stop. He's already huge, but still not quite big enough to take on Godzilla. Hmmm. Will he be big enough by 2019? Could be! If they do plan on doing that movie, and they keep this brand of action going, I'm all for it. It would be a brawl for the frigging century.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Conan Exiles

Well then, yet another game has thrown its hat into the survival ring. Surprisingly this one is set in the Conan mythos. I'm a huge fan of Ark: Survival Evolved and the Conan stories written by Robert E. Howard, so when I heard about this my curiosity was piqued. It's an early access game, so obviously it has problems, but if they can be addressed and ironed out then it should be solid. The art design is gorgeous, and things look like they have a lot of atmosphere, which is very appreciated. And there's a story here as well! Precious rare for survival games.
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Look at these screenshots. The design is absolutely gorgeous and it feels very livable. What's more, you can actually explore and investigate ancient ruins! I'm a total sucker for ruin raiding. And the Conan mythos is stuffed to the brim with delicious lore. If these developers have actually read the books and integrate that into the story and ruins, this might very well be an epic game well worthy of your time. Heck, right now I feel like I'm looking at Stygia. I would LOVE to visit Stygia and view their serpent god or fight with their dusky priests. Or plunge into the moldering depths of the Pictish wilderness, fighting bloodstained Picts waving axes and swords. Or see the jungles of Khaiti. Or the infamous icy hills of Cimmeria! The potential here is extraordinary, and I find myself salivating at the idea of a Conan game that truly implements the lore and sets you loose upon the world.

As of yet I haven't bought it, but I certainly plan to investigate further. I might do a follow up if I purchase it. We shall see!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Fearsome Critters

Humanity has never been short on imagination with mythical creatures. From things such as the Greek chimera to the European werewolf we have so many strange made up critters on this earth that they could make up an entire phylum by themselves. But while most mythical creatures around the world are done with class and firmly established themselves in the world consciousness, North America has apparently created the most bizarre and least dignified figures of critter folklore imaginable. I'm not talking about Sasquatch or Caddy. Nope! They command respect and intrigue.

What I'm referring to are the likely opium and whiskey-addled tales of old time loggers known as "fearsome critters." I have to hand it to those fellows, they had an imagination I wish I had. The creatures they thought up are so unusual, illogical and strange that one has to wonder what was in the drinking water there at the time. Take for example, the so-called Splinter Cat. Ever wonder where all those snapped branches and broken tree bases come from? You might suppose its the natural work of gravity and the elements. How silly! No, it is actually the work of this cat with a wedge-shaped nose with the strength of granite that rams itself into trees with admirable gusto for reasons kept safely secret in its punch-drunk skull.

Or the Rubberado, a mole-like creature with a wonderfully rubbery hide which if eaten, gives the man rubbery skin that can withstand bullets. That one might be my personal favorite. Sure would have come in handy with the lead storms that cropped up now and again on the frontier!

Another fascinating one is the canteen fish which supposedly haunted my neck of the woods when I was in my larval stage. They must've been drank into extinction, cuz I could never find one despite all my searching and reproaching looks from my family members. That might have done something to do with my prescription dosages now that I think about it.

There's plenty more which make you question your sanity, but I find them delightfully strange. If your life is too normal and you want your daily dose of weird, take a peek at the following link where you will be treated to some good descriptions and illustrations of North Americas mythical critters. Although for the international audience, you will soon realize why we tend to stick to glorifying Greek creatures. >:D


Tuesday, January 24, 2017


Folks, book addicts like me and thrift stores just don't mix well. I mean, they do, but only in the same way that a heroin addict and a drug dealer do. Technically both are getting what they want, until the addict runs out of cash and he still needs a fix. Thankfully for the most part I've been able to keep myself strong whilst sorting through various books and things that come through.

But what should happen today on my shift when I help someone out? An entire cardboard box filled with classically written volumes on the multiple facets of the American West. Sixteen books in total, each around 200 pages long, filled with delightful historical pictures and facts with a lyrical prose that makes it feel like a joy to read instead of a chore. Biting my lip to keep from salivating I flicked through the pages, my pulse pounding as I poured over what I realized were veritable treasure troves of knowledge which had heretofore eluded me. Issues which I had seen only barely glossed over in magazines or online articles were beautifully fleshed out here, going on in a level of depth that tickled me to my core.

But alas, I hath not the money to afford them! Even though they are dirt cheap and I can get a discount, I don't have the funds to get even three of them. Such is the curse of fools such as I! Doomed to see such miracles of history and literature dance before me and raise their metaphorical skirts at me, knowing that I cannot partake! What sin have I committed to see such gems slip from my fingers at this time? Also worth mentioning is that they are within that amazing realm of books printed in the 70's, making them new enough that copyrights still apply, but old enough that nobody sells them anymore.

Maybe I'll get lucky and nobody will pay any attention to them until I get my next paycheck. I haven't felt this desperate for many moons. I'm even considering borrowing money, something I haven't done in almost a decade. Pray for me dear friends! I'll either sell a few teeth for a few quick bucks or spend the next few nights weeping into my pillow.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Dino-Pirates of Ninja Island

Look at that title. Look. At. It. If you don't want to rush off to read anything with the title Dino-Pirates of Ninja Island, you have something fundamentally wrong with you. Man, I know that the world is kinda messed up right now, but it is genuinely hard for me to feel too bad when I see stuff like this floating around. Check this. https://dino-pirates.com/

I seem to have a kindred spirit here! I've only read a few of the stories, but this gent has some legit talent and makes me want to learn more. Seriously dude, publish something on Amazon so I can throw my money at you!

Anyway, the setup is pretty self explanatory. There are a series of islands inhabited by dinosaurs and being traveled by pirates and various Asiatic cultures. Right off the bat I'm most interested in Two Lions, and no, it's not just because they are attractive women. It's cuz they are hard core warriors on a mission in an awesome setting and get stuff done! The artwork for them is excellent too. Just from their expressions alone you can understand their characters perfectly.

Jihanna is clearly a gal born for adventure and doesn't need much else. So being a pirate is right up her alley. All she needs is a firm blade in hand and an enemy to stick it in. She enjoys her work of combat and rapine. Subtlety isn't her thing. She's an up front spitfire and attacks like a wildfire. What's not to like?
Siu-Wai is much more subdued and finesse-oriented. She's brains and dexterity, attacking cleverly and analyzing what needs to be done. Together they make an awesome team!

In fact, I'd wager Jihanna would be right at home among the likes of Conan, Neal Fargo and other pulpy action characters.

It's not just stories either. This guy appears to have a setup to run tabletop games with rules and even an island designer. (Happy sigh) Folks. It's at times like this where I'm glad the internet exists. How else would an eccentric starved of adventure and seized with wanderlust come across stuff like this? Seriously, it's like this guy and I are on the exact same wavelength, but we're from alternate realities and ended up doing very similarly themed and designed ideas with some variations.

I sincerely hope that this setting continues to get expanded and gathers more fans. It deserves it. Good sailing lads!