Few things can frustrate a Dungeon Master more than when he or she knows you're very intelligent, but you choose not to actually use said intelligence. Don't get me wrong, it's wise to not upset your DM or your party, since it's remarkably easy to fix a problem player by virtue of falling rocks if he's unimaginative, or far worse if he has a good imagination. But now and then if the DM is giving you a hard time, there is much you can do to cause chaos, and the best part is, it doesn't even have to be in game!
Case in point, my last session. Everyone knows I'm smarter than I sometimes let on. But I need to cut loose now and then during D&D and actually feel the sensation of joy in the void that is my life. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a sadist when it comes to playing the idiot, which I am remarkably skilled at.
We hit a minor lull in the session, and I sit for a time with patience, but it swiftly runs out and I need to devise some means of staving off boredom. I glance up at the wall and narrow my eyes at something suspiciously.
"That clock is really slow," I murmur thoughtfully.
"It's about 9:30," my party member next to me informs me.
"Oh, I know. But that clock, up there. It's way behind. Just look." I gesture up at the wall. All heads swivel where I point, no doubt confused since there wasn't a clock there.
"Cowboy, that's the thermostat!" the DM declares, sanity straining like over-taut piano wires.
"Oh, that explains it!" I cackle gleefully.
He and fellow party members all simultaneously facepalm in delicious despair for what felt like a full minute, not daring to look upon me whilst I sit there smiling impishly.
"Why do you hurt me?" the DM asks, his tone betraying his utter despair.
Now, lest you think I was out of line, I paid dearly for this sanity insubordination. Fun fact, being the scrawny wood elf in water combat and getting into a wrestling match with a shambling mound does not build confidence. It only makes you wonder how fast you can print off a new character sheet.
No comments:
Post a Comment