Conan Exiles

Well then, yet another game has thrown its hat into the survival ring. Surprisingly this one is set in the Conan mythos. I'm a huge fan of Ark: Survival Evolved and the Conan stories written by Robert E. Howard, so when I heard about this my curiosity was piqued. It's an early access game, so obviously it has problems, but if they can be addressed and ironed out then it should be solid. The art design is gorgeous, and things look like they have a lot of atmosphere, which is very appreciated. And there's a story here as well! Precious rare for survival games.





Look at these screenshots. The design is absolutely gorgeous and it feels very livable. What's more, you can actually explore and investigate ancient ruins! I'm a total sucker for ruin raiding. And the Conan mythos is stuffed to the brim with delicious lore. If these developers have actually read the books and integrate that into the story and ruins, this might very well be an epic game well worthy of your time. Heck, right now I feel like I'm looking at Stygia. I would LOVE to visit Stygia and view their serpent god or fight with their dusky priests. Or plunge into the moldering depths of the Pictish wilderness, fighting bloodstained Picts waving axes and swords. Or see the jungles of Khaiti. Or the infamous icy hills of Cimmeria! The potential here is extraordinary, and I find myself salivating at the idea of a Conan game that truly implements the lore and sets you loose upon the world.


As of yet I haven't bought it, but I certainly plan to investigate further. I might do a follow up if I purchase it. We shall see!

Fearsome Critters

Humanity has never been short on imagination with mythical creatures. From things such as the Greek chimera to the European werewolf we have so many strange made up critters on this earth that they could make up an entire phylum by themselves. But while most mythical creatures around the world are done with class and firmly established themselves in the world consciousness, North America has apparently created the most bizarre and least dignified figures of critter folklore imaginable. I'm not talking about Sasquatch or Caddy. Nope! They command respect and intrigue.

What I'm referring to are the likely opium and whiskey-addled tales of old time loggers known as "fearsome critters." I have to hand it to those fellows, they had an imagination I wish I had. The creatures they thought up are so unusual, illogical and strange that one has to wonder what was in the drinking water there at the time. Take for example, the so-called Splinter Cat. Ever wonder where all those snapped branches and broken tree bases come from? You might suppose its the natural work of gravity and the elements. How silly! No, it is actually the work of this cat with a wedge-shaped nose with the strength of granite that rams itself into trees with admirable gusto for reasons kept safely secret in its punch-drunk skull.

Or the Rubberado, a mole-like creature with a wonderfully rubbery hide which if eaten, gives the man rubbery skin that can withstand bullets. That one might be my personal favorite. Sure would have come in handy with the lead storms that cropped up now and again on the frontier!

Another fascinating one is the canteen fish which supposedly haunted my neck of the woods when I was in my larval stage. They must've been drank into extinction, cuz I could never find one despite all my searching and reproaching looks from my family members. That might have done something to do with my prescription dosages now that I think about it.

There's plenty more which make you question your sanity, but I find them delightfully strange. If your life is too normal and you want your daily dose of weird, take a peek at the following link where you will be treated to some good descriptions and illustrations of North Americas mythical critters. Although for the international audience, you will soon realize why we tend to stick to glorifying Greek creatures. >:D

http://www.lumberwoods.com/contents.htm

Nooooooo!

Folks, book addicts like me and thrift stores just don't mix well. I mean, they do, but only in the same way that a heroin addict and a drug dealer do. Technically both are getting what they want, until the addict runs out of cash and he still needs a fix. Thankfully for the most part I've been able to keep myself strong whilst sorting through various books and things that come through.

But what should happen today on my shift when I help someone out? An entire cardboard box filled with classically written volumes on the multiple facets of the American West. Sixteen books in total, each around 200 pages long, filled with delightful historical pictures and facts with a lyrical prose that makes it feel like a joy to read instead of a chore. Biting my lip to keep from salivating I flicked through the pages, my pulse pounding as I poured over what I realized were veritable treasure troves of knowledge which had heretofore eluded me. Issues which I had seen only barely glossed over in magazines or online articles were beautifully fleshed out here, going on in a level of depth that tickled me to my core.

But alas, I hath not the money to afford them! Even though they are dirt cheap and I can get a discount, I don't have the funds to get even three of them. Such is the curse of fools such as I! Doomed to see such miracles of history and literature dance before me and raise their metaphorical skirts at me, knowing that I cannot partake! What sin have I committed to see such gems slip from my fingers at this time? Also worth mentioning is that they are within that amazing realm of books printed in the 70's, making them new enough that copyrights still apply, but old enough that nobody sells them anymore.

Maybe I'll get lucky and nobody will pay any attention to them until I get my next paycheck. I haven't felt this desperate for many moons. I'm even considering borrowing money, something I haven't done in almost a decade. Pray for me dear friends! I'll either sell a few teeth for a few quick bucks or spend the next few nights weeping into my pillow.

Dino-Pirates of Ninja Island

Look at that title. Look. At. It. If you don't want to rush off to read anything with the title Dino-Pirates of Ninja Island, you have something fundamentally wrong with you. Man, I know that the world is kinda messed up right now, but it is genuinely hard for me to feel too bad when I see stuff like this floating around. Check this. https://dino-pirates.com/

I seem to have a kindred spirit here! I've only read a few of the stories, but this gent has some legit talent and makes me want to learn more. Seriously dude, publish something on Amazon so I can throw my money at you!

Anyway, the setup is pretty self explanatory. There are a series of islands inhabited by dinosaurs and being traveled by pirates and various Asiatic cultures. Right off the bat I'm most interested in Two Lions, and no, it's not just because they are attractive women. It's cuz they are hard core warriors on a mission in an awesome setting and get stuff done! The artwork for them is excellent too. Just from their expressions alone you can understand their characters perfectly.



Jihanna is clearly a gal born for adventure and doesn't need much else. So being a pirate is right up her alley. All she needs is a firm blade in hand and an enemy to stick it in. She enjoys her work of combat and rapine. Subtlety isn't her thing. She's an up front spitfire and attacks like a wildfire. What's not to like?
Siu-Wai is much more subdued and finesse-oriented. She's brains and dexterity, attacking cleverly and analyzing what needs to be done. Together they make an awesome team!

In fact, I'd wager Jihanna would be right at home among the likes of Conan, Neal Fargo and other pulpy action characters.

It's not just stories either. This guy appears to have a setup to run tabletop games with rules and even an island designer. (Happy sigh) Folks. It's at times like this where I'm glad the internet exists. How else would an eccentric starved of adventure and seized with wanderlust come across stuff like this? Seriously, it's like this guy and I are on the exact same wavelength, but we're from alternate realities and ended up doing very similarly themed and designed ideas with some variations.

I sincerely hope that this setting continues to get expanded and gathers more fans. It deserves it. Good sailing lads!

The Year 2016

Well then, 2016 has been... eventful. Just gonna come out and say it, 2016 has sucked pretty hard all around. Frigging everyone has been dying. Like, wow, so much death this year. It's hitting lots of people around me, which is not fun. That's not counting other pretty awesome people who have suddenly kicked the bucket. Last year we lost Robin Williams, Leonard Nemoy and Christopher Lee. Good grief. Why are all the good people suddenly dying off? Holy crap.

And let's not forget the absolute joy of this year's election, which was about as fun as shaving one's body using only duct tape. Merciful crap. I haven't seen this much vitriol and bile thrown around even in the deepest dregs of the Youtube comments section. Somehow we got down to the two worst candidates of both sides, and it REALLY became a case of choosing between two awful choices. That being said, the truly evil one lost. Karma always catches up. I just hope Trump doesn't screw things up. Then again, with Obama throwing a temper tantrum and punishing everyone around him for Hillary losing. So we're getting an upgrade. Then again, this could just be moving from AIDS to HIV. Both are awful, but one is slightly less awful. I wanted Endorphin Rush with Rand Paul, but nah.

It wouldn't be quite as bad, except a third of the country is throwing the most epic tantrum I've ever seen, and I say that as someone who has raised dozens of kids, most with emotional issues. Seven pound toys being thrown at windows pales in comparison to the hilarious or excessively violent reactions we've been getting from politicians and college students. Suck it up kiddies. Nobody cares what you think anymore. You cried wolf day and night at every little thing conceivable, and you've been tuned out. Trump won fair and square, and you've got no one to blame but yourselves.

As for myself I've finally entered adulthood in that I've moved out of the house and have enjoyed all the privileges that come with it. Things like worrying about paying rent, budgeting, finding a job, finding medical care, trying to have enough food for three meals a day, getting from point A to B in sub-zero weather, and all that joy. On the plus side I can eat as much candy as I sodding want and no one can tell me different!
And to top that off, one of my best friends, whom I'd been with for ten years, cut me off and abandoned me over differences of opinion. Of all the blows, I think that one cut the deepest. I've never had a lot of friends, and those few I do have I cherish dearly. So when I do everything I can to be tolerant and helpful but still get separated, I feel a little part of me die inside. Few things wither my soul like genuine and unconditional friendly love being cast aside in a bout of self righteous rage.

Phew... Okay, personal rant, over. The great thing about starting a new year is that you can start with a clean slate! I fully believe that 2017 will be better. But it is up to us to make it better. It won't happen without effort, so let's get to it! Simply smiling at a stranger or co-worker can turn their day around. A little kindness goes a long way. Show compassion and patience for those who cut you off or call you names. You don't know what they are going through. A family member of theirs might be dying of cancer. That's becoming increasingly common in my circle sadly. So be patient, assume the best in others and show love as best you can. I know I will.

In spite of my earlier ranting, this hasn't all been bad. I've experienced the wonders of snowfall, watching individual snowflakes fall onto my gloved hands and marvel at their natural elegance. I've learned the value of personally prepared meals. I have come to appreciate the simple things more and become more responsible. With luck I will have a decent job soon. I will hopefully get my first full novel out and begin working on my next. I will hopefully find a special young lady to share my heart with.

Although the road before us all is rocky and rough we have the potential to make it a splendid journey, hardships and all. So let us leave behind the nasty, thorny morass of 2016 and look forward to the rocky but fragrant meadows of 2017!

News and stuff

Things have been a mite hectic lately. I've been scrambling to find a job, coping with serious dental damage, trying not to freeze to death and assist friends and family with their various ills. So I haven't had the chance for a lot of blogging. Also haven't had a whole lot worth blogging about.

In terms of writing, I'm well underway with another Primal Frontier story. The first draft is basically done and needs to undergo revisions. Sadly my partner in crime and editor has been suffering some intense circumstances and simply hasn't been able to edit it these last few months. This is very regrettable, as I wanted to get it out by December here, but Life had other plans. I'm hoping I can get it out within the first few months of 2017.

In the meantime I'm beating my head against a wall trying to form the plot for my upcoming steampunk so I'm not just wasting time playing video games. It's frustrating because I have all the pieces to the puzzle, I just need to assemble them in the right order, which is proving rather difficult. I think I burned myself out with the Primal Frontier story, which has topped out over 100K words which would equate to around 350 pages on the Kindle. It might take my brain a wee bit more time to figure itself out. At the same time I'm annoyed that I can't actually get to work on it and get things moving. I need to be productive dangit!

Well, in other news I managed to acquire a job that pays enough for me to actually pay rent and buy food, and I've had some dental repair, so things are looking comparatively good. Hopefully in a short amount of time things will pick up, I can get Kapar's Mark published, get to work on my steampunk and make enough to eat cinnamon rolls everyday instead of ramen.

I hope that you can stay patient dear readers! Relief is on the way! Eventually!

Anti-Gun Activism At Its Best!

Yesterday I could have honestly said I had heard every single variation and permutation of argument for gun control on the face of the earth. And while this isn't necessarily an argument, I can honestly say that I've never even fathomed this as a counter-argument to gun carry. Take a look at this masterpiece of insanity. Careful though. I try to keep this blog family friendly, and this is a bit off my usual path, but I simply cannot avoid sharing it.
http://thefederalistpapers.org/us/the-difference-between-growing-up-in-the-1960s-compared-to-2016?utm_source=CT&utm_medium=CT&utm_campaign=CT

Students in Texas decide that the proper, adult and mature thing to do in response to other students now being allowed to carry guns on campus is to parade around with dildos. They call it "Cocks Not Glocks." I wish I had the imagination to think of something this bereft of logic. How this is supposed to accomplish anything seems to be missing from their earnest protesting. Seriously, what is this supposed to do? I'm racking my brain right now for some fever-addled explanation as to how this will make any difference of any kind. Maybe it's because I'm too logical and think things through, because I'm coming up blank.

Heck, if anything, this will encourage people to carry guns elsewhere. Guns equaling attractive ladies walking around with sex toys? Hmmmm... It's a mystery what that'll lead to.

So in summation, since every anti-gun argument has been driven to extinction in the face of logic and reality, the anti-gunners have resorted to this. I am in spasms of laughter at the complete and utter absurdity of this. I mean, THIS was their big master plan for combating the spread of carried weapons? What did they pass up in favor of this? Walking around with toilet seats? DVD sets of My Little Pony? I almost feel like I've stepped into some sort of alternate reality that operates on Loony Tunes logic.

Normally I get annoyed when I see idiotic responses to guns, but this is just plain hysterical. I couldn't have prayed for a more glorious example of the desperation and lunacy that the anti-gunners have resorted to. Not gonna lie, I'm excited. I can't wait to see what other bizarre antics they employ.

Someone pass the popcorn please! >:)